My account of two horrendous vertigo attacks prompted many thoughtful TLC responses. I wish we were all together in an Imax theater for this thank you.
I would have reported sooner, but the audiology appointment was a only a few days ago. Here’s the upshot: so far, no more attacks have surfaced.
Here’s the rundown: The prelude to the first attack starts when Jim makes first breakfast coffee water while I am woozily leaning on the kitchen counter. Across the room, the “blue lights” electric kettle burbles furiously. (Tap on the image for sound effects.)
Note the blue lights kettle is across the room, BUT my right ear hears the burbling loud and clear coming directly out of the oatmeal canister in the foreground. My right ear is whacking out.
I’m foolish to assume I can enjoy first breakfast. After one sip, I wilt and collapse on the bed. The pink circle around the stomach shows wrenching contractions as if I were on the high seas in a hurricane. Lungs and heart work hard. Violent shaking racks my entire body. My skeleton jaws are clacking loudly proclaiming enormous release of tension. I hope this isn’t too scary for you.
I feel like this after the attacks–and greatly appreciate the prompt and generous amount of time the doctors and physical therapist give the investigation. In addition, I thank you all again for extending healing vibes.
The hugely entertaining MRI* is ordered immediately to rule out the possibility of stroke. Each patient has a special protocol depending on what the doc is looking for. Here’s Steve Wight’s spectacular simulation of the MRI clangs, booms and blips:
The audiologist confirms a hearing loss in the same ear that whacked out while listening to the blue lights electric kettle.
The audiologist asks if I know why inner ear disturbance causes seasick sensations. Of course, I don’t know. She briefly introduces me to the vagus nerve–the super highway that helps organize swallowing, seeing, hearing, tasting and I don’t know what all. It leaves the lower brain’s Medulla oblongata, descends down the neck, forks into right and left branches that wind around and embrace heart and lungs with many delicate, tender plexus side shoots, down the aesophagus, stomach and digestive tract and maybe beyond. Discovering the vagus (wandering–vagabond, vague, ) Cranial X (Roman numeral for 10) nerve reminds me of my excitement about the electromagnetic spectrum ten years ago which I learned about when only 71 years old.
On You Tube, Sam Webster from Swansea University Medical School in Australia explains vagus nerve function and anatomy. (I’m not showing dozens of screen shots that are more than you want to know.) Seeing basic vagus nerve anatomy helps me feel more grounded with its parasympathetic aspects that integrate emotions with our physical being.
The pipe cleaner version pleases me even more.The yellow vagus nerve nestles inside the (invisible) cable right next to the red carotid artery and blue jugular vein.
Thorough interviews/exams reveal that my symptoms don’t fit into standard inner ear problem labels. I have mixed feelings when each medical professional admits we may never know the cause of the two attacks. They give me exercises to possibly prevent and/or fix further problems. And–I respect them for telling the truth as we now know it.
I have a hunch. A vortex of relationship concerns, worries, perplexities, responsibilities, dead lines, long-term planning, what’s for dinner, bank accounts, garden weed jungle, overdue bean planting, insomnia, fear of insomnia, dilemmas, no time for art and what was that unusual cold sore, and those red, itchy, watery eyes leaking toxic fluid down my rashy cheeks a few days before the first attack? All this may have triggered a traumatic systemic upheaval up and down the vagus nerve. Cranial N “X” may already have been vulnerable and frayed from 81 years of wear and tear.
In any case, the attacks signal “Stop.”
My wandering curiosity leads me back to learning more about the vagus nerve. And my inner resonance magnet draws me to the garden for this week’s poppy extravaganza.
Weeds are out of control. I show this so that you sense my gardener pressure:
Here is one of several mountains of drying weeds that should be carted off somewhere else.
Intending to meet the weed demand, I go out each morning to hurry up and get to work. But I can’t. As soon as I start to look around, I take off the work gloves. Garden vagabonding always is surprising. (Please tap on the poppies to activate the video.)
Each bloom says, Wait a minute, hold on… Wandering leads to poppy centers. Mine, too.
I should show you withering and fallen petals, seed pods, death, composting, regeneration, but not today. I want this moment to never end.
TTFN
(Ta Ta For Now)
Foot note:
*FYI Magnetic Resonance Imaging was invented by Dr. Raymond Damadian 40 years ago. It was an improvement over X-rays by providing higher resolution without exposing the patient to radiation. (University of Wisconsin Dept. of Math website article/ 2022/09/06)
Since then, NASA has furthered MRI technology to enhance pictures of the moon’s surface. In addition to improvements for medical MRI technology, commercial companies are developing more spin-offs that include superconductor magnetic applications in aviation, wind and solar renewable energy interface with the grid. (website: NASA Spin Off)
Gretchen Butler Wild Art 
You are just completely and utterly brilliant.
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Wow! I ALWAYS enjoy reading your posts, although I must admit, I often forget to check your website often enough….so, thanks for emailing me.
I had a conversation with my brother-in-law this morning over a glass of water, having just constructed and installed a gate in the middle of his fence line with his neighbor (purpose…unknown to me, but i don’t ask). We are each turning 76 in shortly, and we were reflecting, not so much on the aches and pains of “mature adulthood”, but rather on the perspective one finds from the lofty heights of such numbers. And, as I ready your commentary in you latest Vertigo Report, not only did I learn a lot about the Vegas Nerve that I had not previously known, but I reflected upon my conversation earlier in the day, and how you communicate not only from ground level, but also from 30,000 feet, at the same time. If that makes any sense…
Your inquisitiveness; your perspectives; your “take it al on” attitude….is indicative of a robust and inquisitive mind, a healthy relationship with your emotions, and view that entails knowing yourself like few people I know. I don’t mean to say you know all the answers, because of course none of us do, but at least you know that you don’t know…..and you celebrate this mystery/wonderment with your postings. Not withdrawing by allowing fear to rule your day, but rather going forth to pull weeds and knowing that what you should really be doing is taking pictures of the poppies. They had been patiently waiting there for you to come around. And what beautiful pictures they are. And, like the cherry on top of the ice cream sunday, you choose to share them with the people in your world. Love issuing forth… Healing yourself, and healing others at the same time. That is so special.
Thank You for that.
And, thank you for sending me down my next Rabbit Hole, Electromagnetic Spectrum! If you thought you were late at 71, think how late I am at 76! Haha!!
And, lastly, thank you for reaching out to me. I am not particularly good at maintaining relationships (should not be a surprise by now), but that is in no way a reflection of how much I enjoy ours. And, how much I enjoy your emails!
Always thinking of you.
Slater
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Slater! Thank you for the comprehensive review! I have more news for you coming in an email.
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You are absolutely amazing my dear sister…everything you see,touch, feel,smell,..it’s all art in some form.Even your emails are art! I love the way I’ve been honored to watch your life from afar and sometimes close…the way you handle it all (stress as it is)is uplifting…and I mean that. Scary as it gets sometimes, we know we’re never alone…spirit is there in whatever form you wish it…you already know that….I need to come up and see you soon,ok? I have an older friend in a retirement home in Novato and a Psychologist colleague who just got certified to do psychedelic trip therapy… she’s up there too…so…. I thought I’d attach a little power point I use on stress if that’s ok…stuff you already know, but there may be a little something that speaks to you in here…it’s basic but nurses aides eat it up!!! you know how much we love you two and there is nothing I would not do to support you …anytime,anywhere I’ll be there if possible Namaste Mike
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Dear Gretchen, Thank you so much for your Vertigo Report. I’ve experienced it before and it’s so very uncomfortable and unsettling. I’m so glad that you haven’t had any more attacks but I’m sorry that they don’t know what caused them. It’s good that it was not a stroke. Sigh!!!!
You’re portrayal of your life and experience in art, photography and poetry is truly wonderful. Thank you for sharing your life and your journey and for entrusting us with it.
It is a truly stressful time to be alive now, which is only compounded by us growing older and needing to (sometimes daily) make adjustments, decisions, adaptations to navigate all of these new waters we find ourselves swimming in.
You inspire me, Gretchen, with your amazing positive attitude and vulnerable curiosity. You have a lot on your plate. I am glad you set the weeding to the side. I am sending you and Jim my very best wishes and love. diane
Because you so adore flower also, here are some for you.


“If you feel as though you don’t fit into this world…….. it’s because you are here to create a better one.” 🇺🇸🇺🇦
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Thank you for helpful comments, Diane.–Long pause over here. This morning I’m going to plant those beans. love,Gretchen
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Here’s to knowing what we don’t know, learning what we can and
poppies for presence. And here’s to no more dizzy icky scary episodes.
I would like to offer my time to help you with weeds etc. I get the same overwhelm re; garden ‘chores’ and it distracts from garden pleasure. We shan’t have that.
Thank you for sharing your experience and all you are learning in such a marvelously creative manner🥰
Jenn
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Dear, dear Gretchen!
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div>Iâm so sorry to read about your unnerving vertigo episodes, and I can almost feel th
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Hi mum,
Thank you for sending. I love your curiosity for the experience details.
Those are beautiful poppy photos.
Love you, J
(minor ps â one typo on first line â one too many âaâ
Jennifer McGarigle
Floral Art
P. 310.280.0500
http://www.floralartla.com
[Description: Description: Floral-Art-Logo-with-TAG-LINE]
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div dir=”ltr”>Thank you. Amazing this was uplifting. I’m reading Meditations by Marcus Aurelius which is also uplifting. Sharon
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very glad you’re getting feedback of some kind, inconclusive as they may seem. Delicious to view poppies from all your added directions. For what it’s worth I refer to my fibromyalgia ‘visitation’s’ as episodes, rather than attacks. When friends have used the ‘a’ word o’er the years I feel like I’m in pitched battle with the advancing army. Topic Left turn: in 5 hours we begin 1st leg of 2.5 week Africa journey! Keep those home fires & uplifting thoughts churning while we’re away. Best, Janet
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Dear Gretchen! I am late to respond, as I’m late to be aware of your experience. Your writing is visual and visceral. Also intimate and relatable. I hope you continue to be in “non-vertigo event” territory. My mother would have been cheering you on for describing this condition, which also troubled her, albeit in a more chronic way. My best wishes to you both! Love, Emily
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Thank you, Emily —
I’m embarrassed, but which Emily are you? In any case, I’m glad to connect up again!
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Hi Gretchen! I changed my last name out of frustration with memories and experiences associated with the last name of Hawthorne. Too much imposed drama and anxiety. My POV, certainly, but also, the name wasn’t mine to begin with anyway. You first met me when I was seven or eight as Lynne Hawthorne. Hugs to you!
Emily Bee
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This may be of interest…hope all’s going well and best of the holidays…Mike
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